I woke up at 4:20 with sad images flowing in.
I thought of Dave, and a car accident, with one thought after another piling on each other, as fearful thoughts tend to do. Then I remembered reading somewhere long ago that when heavy emotions come upon you, ask yourself if they are truly yours, or do they belong to someone else? I ‘felt’ these weren’t mine. This wasn’t to be our destiny. We had other things to do in life, and I let this all go before my Dave left the house. He would be traveling today, to New Jersey for a meeting, but somehow I knew this wasn’t for us.
Then reading my emails, I came across a FB ‘share’ from a friend about a woman named Sheryl Sandberg, speaking eloquently about the end of sheloshim, 30 days of mourning her husband ‘Dave’ Goldberg, who died suddenly in an accident. It was very powerfully written, with many thoughts for each of us when we do face a personal tragedy. I especially was drawn to “Let me not die while I am still alive”, and the choices we face as we go on living. Through her grief, she spoke of resilience, of honoring that this wasn’t her fault, of how to reconnect to her children and colleagues with everyone able to express their feelings openly, knowing life will never be filled with the same kind of joy. It’s finding a new normal, that will never be as good. As her friend said, ‘Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of Option B”.
I believe that our consciousness is open to receiving, especially in the early morning hours. We may be tuning into our own brilliant inspirations, or possibly another frequency that is strongly moving through the air at this time. It’s important to ask yourself if the emotions are really yours. If they aren’t, let them go. Develop and trust your instincts and intuition to know what is really ‘yours’. There’s choice here. Write about it, like I’m doing here, journal it, draw it, to release it back to the world. Honor the universal feelings each of us feel at one time or another, then move forward with Option B….finding your own personal happiness right now, in this moment. So wherever you are in life, connect with nature, move your body to get endorphins going, breathe in fresh scents, make yourself beautiful, be creative in your own unique way, and do something fun. Be grateful for every day and make it count.
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