Being Needed is a Virtue, Being Needy is Not…
We’ve all heard of the unhealthiness of a relationship based on neediness. When you do anything to keep a situation going even to the point of losing yourself, your identity, your goals and dreams just to please or save another person, it leaves you empty, drained, with no life, responsibility, or choice. Like a boat drifting at sea, all direction is lost. But what about ‘being needed’ by a loved one or anyone, since you complete them. You hold the key to the door of their Truest Self. You see something in them that no one else does. You are the one they trust completely, they want to share all the best with, and they see as a true friend in life. We surely don’t hear enough about that Being!
These are the complex issues in ‘Echo in the Bone’, by Diana Gabaldon, that left me pondering my own life. She tells of the hero’s visit to his ex, sorry for marrying her for all the wrong reasons. He never needed her in an ‘all my love’ way. He needed someone to fill the loneliness; she needed security to raise her daughters. I thought of my first husband, who never really ‘needed’ me, or all the other women who came after, in the whole heart way. This left me in the ‘neediness’ position, not knowing how to fix it. Bad all around. It took some years to trust again, and especially to trust myself.
For this New Moon Time, Be an Angel to someone. Seek out ways to Be Needed in some way, shape, or form. Listening to a friend without judgement, connecting to relatives & siblings to tell them we’re grateful they’re in our lives, volunteering for anything happening in the ‘hood’, and doing random acts of kindness are all great ways to start. Being Needed is a virtue, and a healthy one at that!
Sorry, comments are closed for this post.